from the archives:
Sometimes clutter is vital and that’s why you’re keeping it. It’s not important because your house papers are in those piles somewhere, although that may well be the case. It’s important because it’s serving you well, cocooning you and saving you from having to face something you don’t care to deal with.
Perhaps the endless organizing, without ever really settling on homes for things, helps fill your time. Perhaps it keeps you busy and saves you from having to do anything about the fact that you and your partner have nothing to say to each other these days. There’s no time for a job or for volunteering, for reading or for getting outside because there’s all this clutter and you’d feel too guilty doing any of those things when you should be dealing with your clutter.
Here’s the thing. If you spend 20 minutes a day dealing with the stuff in your house, and you simultaneously address the reasons stuff keeps coming into your house, this is a finite job, no matter how much clutter you have. You may be buried in stuff, but if you work through it slowly but steadily, that stuff will recede. If it keeps growing, it may be time to ask yourself what purpose it’s serving you.
Is your stuff cushioning you, keeping you busy or distracting you from something you don’t want to look at? If that’s the case, please be gentle with yourself. Give up the habit of feeling bad and castigating yourself for all your clutter. Maybe that clutter is serving you well. Maybe you’ll deal with it when the time comes, but for now, it’s helping. Let that be the case and let yourself be as kind to yourself as you would be to a dear friend. If your dear friend had a room full of unopened shopping bags, I don’t think you’d yell and scream at her to get her act together, I think you’d love her anyway. Can you do that for yourself too?